It’s been a while since my last update here on this site. God is good even when we are struggling to understand what He is doing in our lives. Today, I would like to share our testimony of how good God is. In life, we have problems and challenges to face, sometimes, even on daily basis. But in times, even when we cannot figure out what God is doing in our lives, stay close to Him and hold on to His faithfulness and what He had done for you in the past. Most importantly, trust in knowing who He is.

Monday (August 1st 2011) was Dan’s first day at work with Fresno Community Hospital since he resigned from his former work on September 2009. It was an awesome feeling to make breakfast and sent him off for work knowing that he was in good hands. As some of you knew how much we had struggled trying to understand why God took such a long time to answer this prayer of ours. But, today, we can testify that God’s time is always perfect even though according to some of us, His answer seems late. And the waiting time was excruciatingly painful. Yet, through it all, we finally realized what God was trying to accomplish behind the scene.

For almost 2 years of waiting before Dan’s new job, we had to address several questions.  The fundamental question we had to address at that time was ‘What is God’s direction for both of us?’ We both felt the need to live close to Michelle, so Dan’s focus was looking for jobs in the Bay Area. We had several good prospects coming from huge organizations situated in the Bay Area such as Google, Yahoo, Kaiser. Yet, none of them materialized. As it got harder in the job search process, we began to question if Bay Area was where God would call us to serve Him. We finally widen the search to include Fresno, seeking God that somehow if it was His will, God would provide even when it seemed much harder to get a job in Fresno than in the Bay. Our church intensified their prayers for us as we seek God for His confirmation. And finally on the 15th of July 2011, Dan went for his final interview with 3 panels of interviewers at Fresno Community Hospital. We received the good news on the 18th of July. We believe God has His plan for us here in Fresno and His ministry in store for us, serving in Fresno City Blessing Church. One of our beloved brother in Christ passed away in June. We became God’s answer to his prayers for us to stay and serve in FCBC. We are thankful to our brother’s faith and his consistent prayers for us. We are where we are today was part of his labor of love and care as a leader by example toward us. Thank you brother Denny! We miss you and we’ve not forgotten your kindness shown toward us.

One of the struggle I had at that time of waiting was believing God had forgotten us. Has he truly? It was painful to think that after all He had done in my life both in Singapore and Australia, God would abandon me here in United States. That was the greatest fear I had to deal with during the time I had to wait on Him. Would I become like Job”s wife, instigating my husband to curse God and die? No!! No way!! I was ever more determined to be like Job himself. I had to come to that point to decide as Job did, to honor God despite my inability to comprehend the situation. There were moments both Dan and I questioned God. We had our moments of anger, disappointment, anxiety, confusion. All the classic emotions you can name them, we’ve got them and fought with them. But, each time, we could do nothing but ultimately surrender ourselves to God and His Sovereignty. Was it a tough journey? Honestly, it was a painful growing process. But, God has more in His mind than just us.

Michelle worked really hard during her last year in her high school. She graduated with a high honor. We were so proud of her accomplishment. In the middle of our struggle, Michelle won a scholarship for her College at UC Santa Cruz. It was the best news for us knowing that despite of our struggle financially, Michelle’s college years will be taken care of by the provision of the Scholarship. Our helplessness soon turned into hope, through God’s way of providing for our needs. Later we learned that even more amazingly, whatever Michelle got from her scholarship would not be affected by how much her dad would earn in this new job. God had arranged it in such a way that everything would fall into place perfectly. Obviously, God did not only have us in His mind, Michelle too. He made a way for Michelle’s needs as well. When we thought God had forgotten us, He has something in His mind much bigger than we can imagine. When He seemed so far and silent, He is ever near and present working behind the scene. ‘How long do I have to wait Lord?””Be patient my beloved, till all I’ve set to do and accomplish is done!’ ‘Is God’s timing too late?’ No, His is always perfect!

Today, we give You the praise O God, not just knowing Your ways and thoughts are higher than ours, but through it all, we actually tasted it this day. Nothing is far more precious than knowing and experiencing Your goodness in our lives. Father God, You are good even when we cannot comprehend all that are happening around us. We know this day, that You are truly in control even when our lives seem to spin out of control. Thank you for Your goodness in our lives! May our lives bring honor and glory to Your name.

In the name of Your Son Jesus Christ I pray,

Amen!!

 

 

When we are living in pain and constant struggles, can we truly see God’s goodness in the midst of it? This is one of the thoughts I have to come to terms with this Thanksgiving in 2010.  Since last year it has indeed been a faith-challenged year for both Dan and I.  But also a year, we cannot deny, filled with defining moments where we saw God’s hands at work created miracles for a greater good in our situation. Can we give praise and thanks to God in the middle of our pain?

God has put in my heart, a passion to work with children and adults with disabilities.  It’s my life-long passion ever since in my mid twenties I started this path, working in the disability field.  When I arrived in California, I thought I have to put my dream and passion aside to focus on my marriage and family. And that was what I did, for the last two and a half years. As some of you knew from my previous sharing, that in May 2010, I finally obtained my permanent residency in United States.  I was so excited that I could finally get some form of work in California.  Due to the economic situation in United States at present, getting a full-time job is not easy.  I decided to enter into the job market slowly for example, through becoming a volunteer for an organization. I finally decided to do volunteer work for EPU (Exceptional Parents Unlimted).  The deciding factors were firstly, the location (within walking distance),  secondly,  EPU provides services for children with disabilities under 3 from professionals such as teachers to various therapies.  An environment in which I was closely familiar to. Thirdly, EPU is a great organization to get involved in.  So, shortly after I received my permanent residency, I applied to become a volunteer worker with EPU.

The initial process went well. I was called in for an interview with the program co-ordinator as well as the department head.  I thought the interview went really well with them.  I was assigned to carry out a finger printing check by the Department of Justice.  I was told that this process would take 2 weeks to accomplish but, due to some unknown delay, took me months of waiting before it finally came to pass. In the midst of this waiting time, in my mind, I really thought this door was completely closed. God kept this door open but, I have to learn to wait and trust His timing would be the best.  It was a tough lesson to learn.

Is God cruel when He teaches us to wait upon Him? Sometimes, it seems so.. but I believe He must have a good reason to make us go through it in His silence. Now I can give praise to God.  Every tuesdays and thursdays, I spent my mornings from 9.30 – 11.30 at EPU playing with the kids and totally loves it for the last 3 month now. It’s an awesome dream comes true for me.

Last Thanksgiving was a very special one for both Dan and me as God taught us how to trust completely in Him again. Through this retreat, God dealt with us individually concerning our personal time with Him and our struggles we have had because of the unknown future before us. We had a great time of learning, and fellow-shipping with brothers and sisters in Christ. One awesome  surprise I received from our Father in Heaven at the retreat happened in the morning before we set our heart to return home.  I have had dreams of seeing snow fall. And have often in my heart desires to see and feel what it is like having snow falling around me. I woke up at 5.30am that morning, went to the window and saw no snow as predicted. Disappointed I returned to bed. I finally woke up at 7am, went to the window, peeped through the blinds and to my amazement, I saw light snow falling.  Apparently, I was not the only one excited about the snow fall. We had a great morning taking photos.  It was a great joy for everyone at the retreat.

Even though this time of waiting was tough. We saw God’s blessings in the midst of it all. I believe sometimes God chooses to remain silent for  a while to teach us to rely on Him totally.  That we may grow in our faith and master perseverance.

A couple of weeks ago, my mother-in-law invited me to attend her church’s Women luncheon meeting. I accepted her invitation and went to the meeting with her.  At the meeting, I was nervous because I only knew a couple of the ladies at the church. Yet, at that meeting, God spoke to my heart through a testimony of a young lady and her mother’s.  At the end of the meeting, I was sure glad I was there.

The sharing of their testimonies began with the young lady who was on a wheel chair. Well, you might be thinking what happened? This young pretty lady was paralyzed due to a tragic automobile accident. The story began way before the tragic accident.  She shared that she had been a good girl, raised in a christian family and would go to church with the family with no questions asked, sundays after sundays for years. Besides going to church, she spent most part of her years in gymnastic trainings.  As you can see that gymnastics is her one passion in life.  Later, she went on to share one tragic news with us. Her gymnastic coach whom she had been trained under for several years, died from a cancer.  The tragic news blew her mind away.  She was in shock..  It caused her to have doubts about the God she thought she knew at that time.  She blamed God for taking her coach away from her.  She started mixing around with a bunch of friends she should not have.  Doing things that she knew were wrong and harmful to her. Yet, she held on to that attitude that she did not care.  She went on to share with us about that one time when God seemed to speak to her through a testimony of another friend in church about putting Him first in life,  she responded to God saying that she would never give gymnastics up for Him.  All these happened prior to the accident that led her to a final confrontation with God.

Sometimes we think we can carry on with our lives, ignoring God, and get away with it.  I think God loves us too much to let that happen to us and be satisfied that its the best for us.  God knows much more than we do and He longs for us to have a good relationship with Him.  The incident of that tragic accident happened because she wanted to hang around with her group of friends despite her mother’s repeated instructions to stay with her given tasks as her parents were away that weekend.  She kept on pleading with her mom to let her go.  Finally, her mother relented with instructions for her daughter to call and report of  her where about intermittently.  The greatest fear that her mother had came through when the parents received a call from the police of her daughter’s automobile accident.

Good News Amidst The Tragedy

It was during the moment when the young lady was trapped in the car that she started talking to God again. It was during the most difficult moment of her life that she felt the presence and the peace of God in her life.  How ironic and how true it is! It is often in our desperation, that we finally choose to listen. It was on that day, the young lady found peace with God. During the time of her rehabilitation,  she finally learned to put God first in all things.  After a year, she is still adjusting to the new change in her life.  She is dependent on her wheel chair now and for a period of time, she thought that she would never get back to gymnastics ever again. God put her in a great organization, Break The Barrier, that helps disabled children and young people through gymnastics to have a good quality of  life. You see, God has not forgotten her dream.. In order to pursue God, God does not absolutely require that we give up our dreams for Him.  It’s our hearts that matter to Him.  If that dream is turned around and given to Him, then it would not be an object of competition, would it? He would give us anything that is good, not harmful.  The most beautiful part of this testimony is watching her performing in her wheel chair,  in a dance with a group of young ladies of her age.

As her mother shared her side of the story, we came to understand her struggles with God and her fear. One of the questions that she had to come to term with was this: ” Why would a loving God knowing that a girl’s dream depends on her feet, would take her feet away from her? ” You know, in her mother’s testimony, she shared that all she prayed and asked God for was a physical healing for her daughter. In the end, she understood why God allowed it. Her mother was looking at her daughter’s physical healing, but God was more interested in her daughter’s spiritual healing.  Isn’t it amazing? After the accident, this family has been receiving blessings after blessings from people who are willing to help.  They recognize the hands of God upon it all.  The house has to be refurnished to accommodate the wheel chair and they are almost done with the refurnishing except the bathroom.  Even so, they found an organization willing to remodel the bathroom for them at a low price.

One thing I learned from the testimonies, was that: ” when God brings us to Him, it is because He loves us and we are important to Him. ” Sometimes, we think God is punishing us.. on the contrary, it is Him getting our attention. Simply because we are heading the wrong direction. One precious thought that keeps dwelling in me since then is that no matter what we do or had done, God keeps in His mind our spoken dreams and He has not forgotten them. What a comfort to know and be reminded of that! No matter what, God remembers our life-time dreams dear friends. He has not forgotten! If only we would turn our dreams around and give them to God, He would honor our acts of faith! Lets just say: ” What God would do with it, so be it! ” And watch Him works. May you be truly blessed this day.

Blessings,

Eileen

Have any one ever heard of this song entitled ‘Count your blessings’? This song speaks of what  is much needed in my heart right now.  Here are the lyrics of this song:

Count Your Blessings

When upon life’s billows you are tempest tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.
 Refrain
 Count your blessings,
name them one by one, Count your blessings,
see what God hath done! Count your blessings,
name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.
Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
Count your many blessings, every doubt will fly,
And you will keep singing as the days go by.
 Refrain
 When you look at others with their lands and gold,
Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold;
Count your many blessings.
Wealth can never buy your reward in heaven,
nor your home on high.
 Refrain
 So, amid the conflict whether great or small,
Do not be disheartened, God is over all;
Count your many blessings, angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.
 Refrain
Personal Testimony Of Dan And Eileen
Since Sept 2009, Dan and I have been on a long journey filled with tests and trials
of our faith in God. The toughest part of our journey of faith is trusting and
surrendering our unknown future to Him. Believing that His provisions would come
on time when we needed Him. At certain time, we even thought God has forgotten us.
At the beginning of 2010, we made some resolutions for the year. We trust that in
His time, He will fulfill all of them. This is the year our church believes is the
year for us to inherit. God has His inheritance laid before us, that we as His
children would have the faith to claim them as our own. It is indeed a season for
greater growth in our faith and knowledge of who God is.
Looking back over the last eight months, we saw God's provisions in many ways.
2010 is a year full of blessings already. We were blessed to have 3 of my family
members and relative came to visit us in San Francisco. We were thinking of
visiting family in Singapore this year. However, we could not fulfill this plan
this year due to financial constrain. We still would like to do so later when we
are able. Knowing that we are not able to go, God brought them to us.
It's amazing sometimes, watching His provisions.
 Eileen finally had her green card in her hands, May, this year. At the end of
June, Eileen was admitted to the ER and in a few days, she had to have her
gall bladder and gall stones removed due to the inflammation of her gall bladder.
Without health insurance and financial difficulty because Dan was without a job
since September 2009, we were naturally worried about the bills. Somehow, in the
midst of all these, God provided through the charity organization from the hospital.
All bills were paid for by the charity organization and every visits to the hospital
would be paid for until September 14th. Has God been good to us? Yes, He most
certainly have! Although, we are still learning to trust Him to provide in other
areas, we have been indeed blessed in many ways this year. We certainly believe
God has His purpose and reason in withholding some of our prayers we have had in
order that we may grow deeper and stronger in our faith in Him.
So, have you count your blessings yet? When you do, you will see that God is still
in control of your life. Look for the blessings that come along your way rather
than the loss. And you will see God in ways you've never seen Him before. We hope
that our testimony will be a blessing to you today.
 Blessings,
Dan and Eileen

Have you ever compete in a race before? Wouldn’t it be great that at the end of the race, you arrive at the finishing point, as one of the top competitors of that race? Today, I would like to share with you what the Bible talks about concerning the race of our life time.

The Race of Faith

In Hebrews 12:1 – 2, the Bible says:

“Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

Therefore according to the Bible, our journey of faith in God is liken to a race and it is the race of our life time. Paul who wrote this book, Hebrews, wanted to encourage us to run this race with endurance, like Jesus who endured the cross and finished what He had set out to accomplish according to the plan of God.

Now according to the dictionary, endurance could mean:

1. the fact or power of enduring or bearing pain, hardships, etc.

2. the ability or strength to continue or last, esp. despite fatigue, stress, or other adverse conditions; stamina

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/endurance

Now according the Bible, we can expect hardships and trials in life.  And we are expected to endure the hardships and trials in our lives.  How many of you are going through trials right now? We all know what they are.. trials come and go through our life time.  Why is it so important for us to learn to endure and not giving up? Through endurance, our faith in God grow. God uses our sufferings to shape our lives, to make us more like Jesus.

What is faith? In Hebrews 11:1, the Bible says:

“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”

Why do we hope in things we can see? In order to see the evidence of what we believe and hope for, we need to endure through the end. And that hope keeps us going.  What if Jesus were to give up.. what would become of us? Therefore He has led us by His example.  He chose to submit to His Father in Heaven. We need to do likewise. One great encouragement for us is knowing that Jesus is the author and finisher of our faith. Our journey of faith begins with Jesus and ends with Him as well. We do not need to worry because it is clear that we will not be alone.  Jesus will be with us from the start to the end as long as we run this race with Him. Isn’t it awesome to know this truth?

May you be truly blessed today as you take the step to run this race of your life time with Jesus knowing that He is the Author and the Finisher of  your  faith.

Blessings,

Eileen

A week ago I was admitted to the ER in the Community Hospital downtown of Fresno, where my husband and I reside at present with our parents (in-law). Thinking that it was a small health issue, I could be released that early morning, on the 27th June 2010 after midnight. Well, it turned out to be a more serious one than I’ve initially thought and imagined to be. It turned out to be an infected gall bladder and I had gall stones and coupled with a urinary infection.

My symptoms were:

1.  A persistent chest tightness that wouldn’t go away no matter what I’ve tried. Few weeks ago, I had the same episode before and my mother-in-law gave me a cup of hot tea to drink and that solved my problem.  Since then, I had about 2 more times with the same problem and hot tea was the solution for it. However, this final episode was not going to be that easy for me. On the 27th June 2010, somewhere about 10:00 in the night, I was experiencing a chest tightness that no matter what I did, it just wouldn’t go away.  Then I experienced another symptom..

2. Dizziness came to me. I was feeling so dizzy that night. No matter how I tried to relief it, lying on my side, sitting upright, lying flat on the sofa, nothing worked.  I was struggling to shake my dizziness off.

3. I was experiencing shortness of breath.  It was hard for me because I was healthy most of my life until that night. Having experienced that, that night, I knew deep down something was really wrong with me. I needed medical assistance.. and so when my mother-in-law suggested ER that early morning 28th June, I had to take it. So, we went to the ER and from there, we learned from the doctors, that my problem wasn’t as simple as expected.

My diagnosis:

After the nurse put me on an IV, and an X-Ray, a EKG, some blood tests, urine tests, Ultrasounds.. more blood tests, I was finally diagnosed as having an infected gall bladder with the finding of some gall stones as well as a urinary infection. A surgery is expected to remove my infected gall bladder, and gall stones. They treated my urinary infection with antibiotics and that seemed to work. The name of the surgery was called Laparoscopic Cholecystectomy. The doctor told my husband that it was the right decision to remove the gall bladder because “my gall bladder looked ‘angry’ and needed to come out”.

The healing process after surgery:

The first week was hard for me as I was experiencing pain. But, in this process, I realized my threshold of pain was much higher than I initially thought. The medication that was given to me was making me drowsy and uncomfortable. In about 2-3 doses of it, I decided to endure the gain than take the medication.  I would wake up with pain in the mornings.. some days were  better than others.

I took a shower after the second day of the surgery.  My bandages were wet after the shower. I decided to ask my mother-in-law to check on them and she decided to change and get new bandages on my 4 small incisions. That was a good move since I found blood draining from the old blood stains while showering.

Into the second week of my healing after the surgery, I requested that my husband bought me new bandages so I can continue covering up my incisions after taking a shower. Well, this is where I believe my over protectiveness actually would hinder my recovering process. I am learning to be thankful to my husband’s insisting on googling what’s the best wound care treatment after such surgery. And calling the nurse to inquire about it. Leaving the wound uncovered is actually a better way to healing and recovery process in my case. I’m learning more each day as I go about taking care of myself  after the surgery. I’ve learned that sometimes over protecting isn’t always good, and the right way to go. In fact, it can become an hinderance to healing and a better me.

Conclusion:

How often have we thought about this? There are things we do that we honestly think are good, would in fact  turn out harmful or a hinderance to making us a better  wholesome person. In our insecurity we tried to help God do His work in us. Have it happen to you? As for me, many times! Let us, let go of our insecurity and let God do His mighty work on us, in His perfect time.  Therefore, do not become an enemy to a better you, let God have His way in you today.  Have a blessed day, everyone!

Blessings,

Eileen