Living in God’s Goodness in the midst of Pain.
When we are living in pain and constant struggles, can we truly see God’s goodness in the midst of it? This is one of the thoughts I have to come to terms with this Thanksgiving in 2010. Since last year it has indeed been a faith-challenged year for both Dan and I. But also a year, we cannot deny, filled with defining moments where we saw God’s hands at work created miracles for a greater good in our situation. Can we give praise and thanks to God in the middle of our pain?
God has put in my heart, a passion to work with children and adults with disabilities. It’s my life-long passion ever since in my mid twenties I started this path, working in the disability field. When I arrived in California, I thought I have to put my dream and passion aside to focus on my marriage and family. And that was what I did, for the last two and a half years. As some of you knew from my previous sharing, that in May 2010, I finally obtained my permanent residency in United States. I was so excited that I could finally get some form of work in California. Due to the economic situation in United States at present, getting a full-time job is not easy. I decided to enter into the job market slowly for example, through becoming a volunteer for an organization. I finally decided to do volunteer work for EPU (Exceptional Parents Unlimted). The deciding factors were firstly, the location (within walking distance), secondly, EPU provides services for children with disabilities under 3 from professionals such as teachers to various therapies. An environment in which I was closely familiar to. Thirdly, EPU is a great organization to get involved in. So, shortly after I received my permanent residency, I applied to become a volunteer worker with EPU.
The initial process went well. I was called in for an interview with the program co-ordinator as well as the department head. I thought the interview went really well with them. I was assigned to carry out a finger printing check by the Department of Justice. I was told that this process would take 2 weeks to accomplish but, due to some unknown delay, took me months of waiting before it finally came to pass. In the midst of this waiting time, in my mind, I really thought this door was completely closed. God kept this door open but, I have to learn to wait and trust His timing would be the best. It was a tough lesson to learn.
Is God cruel when He teaches us to wait upon Him? Sometimes, it seems so.. but I believe He must have a good reason to make us go through it in His silence. Now I can give praise to God. Every tuesdays and thursdays, I spent my mornings from 9.30 – 11.30 at EPU playing with the kids and totally loves it for the last 3 month now. It’s an awesome dream comes true for me.
Last Thanksgiving was a very special one for both Dan and me as God taught us how to trust completely in Him again. Through this retreat, God dealt with us individually concerning our personal time with Him and our struggles we have had because of the unknown future before us. We had a great time of learning, and fellow-shipping with brothers and sisters in Christ. One awesome surprise I received from our Father in Heaven at the retreat happened in the morning before we set our heart to return home. I have had dreams of seeing snow fall. And have often in my heart desires to see and feel what it is like having snow falling around me. I woke up at 5.30am that morning, went to the window and saw no snow as predicted. Disappointed I returned to bed. I finally woke up at 7am, went to the window, peeped through the blinds and to my amazement, I saw light snow falling. Apparently, I was not the only one excited about the snow fall. We had a great morning taking photos. It was a great joy for everyone at the retreat.
Even though this time of waiting was tough. We saw God’s blessings in the midst of it all. I believe sometimes God chooses to remain silent for a while to teach us to rely on Him totally. That we may grow in our faith and master perseverance.